Comments on: Preschool Days 2 & 3: Mama Drama http://coolmom.com/2008/07/17/preschool-day-2-and-3-mama-drama/ parents don't know what they are doing anyway, might as well laugh about it Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:27:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Jenn Carson http://coolmom.com/2008/07/17/preschool-day-2-and-3-mama-drama/#comment-331 Jenn Carson Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:33:04 +0000 http://coolmom.com/?p=257#comment-331 I wish my daughter fought for me to stay with her. We started her a daycare when she was 9months old and when we dropped her off, it was like we ceased to exist. She's 3 now and it hasn't changed. Some days, I really wish she's beg me to stay. I wish my daughter fought for me to stay with her. We started her a daycare when she was 9months old and when we dropped her off, it was like we ceased to exist. She's 3 now and it hasn't changed. Some days, I really wish she's beg me to stay.

]]> By: Daphne http://coolmom.com/2008/07/17/preschool-day-2-and-3-mama-drama/#comment-323 Daphne Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:03:31 +0000 http://coolmom.com/?p=257#comment-323 Lisa, that's a great point. I loved being kicked out the door unless I was sulking and wanted my mom to baby me. Although she never came and she told us later she thought we needed "our space". today was the same thing, cry, then fine and I am a wreck. yes, usually if I could worked up about anything I have to take a step back. but, don't always do that! Lisa, that's a great point. I loved being kicked out the door unless I was sulking and wanted my mom to baby me. Although she never came and she told us later she thought we needed "our space".
today was the same thing, cry, then fine and I am a wreck.

yes, usually if I could worked up about anything I have to take a step back. but, don't always do that!

]]> By: Lisa http://coolmom.com/2008/07/17/preschool-day-2-and-3-mama-drama/#comment-316 Lisa Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:29:13 +0000 http://coolmom.com/?p=257#comment-316 You have so nailed the conundrum of parenting -- the push-me-pull-you state between encouraging independence, and cherishing being able to provide physical and emotional sustinence for them. . . between satisfying your own needs (to work, to sleep, for a manicure) and realizing that the time we have with our kids is preciously short. I still havent' figured it out, so if you do, please share. :-) My daughter, too, occasionally pulls out the "no school" routine... and I take it as a good thing that, even though I know she's happy and fine at school, she still "prefers" me. We flip it around and just promote the heck out of the weekends as "mommy and daddy" "no school" days, trying to shift the emphasis away from the weekdays sucking to the weekends rocking. I think you have to look at the big picture -- when we had her in a bad daycare, at the macro level, she wasn't doing well. She was genuinely unhappy (in hindsight), and it carried through to her entire being every minute of every day. Now, in a good daycare, she's genuinely happy, with short bursts of manipulative unhappy sprinkled in. And since the manipulation is rooted in the most flattering of concepts (me! she prefers me!!), I forgive it. I go back and forth between hugely anxious bouts of "is she OK? does she need/miss me?" when I have to work a lot and only get to see her about 1 hr a day (eg., this week) and remembering that our parents' generation did not spend soooo much energy worrying about whether we were "well-adjusted" and "happy." They opened the door, put their foots on our butts, and pushed, yelling "come home by 6 for dinner." Remember those days? Did you feel unloved? I didn't... but don't understand why we are so insecure that we become convinced that our kids will feel so. You have so nailed the conundrum of parenting — the push-me-pull-you state between encouraging independence, and cherishing being able to provide physical and emotional sustinence for them. . . between satisfying your own needs (to work, to sleep, for a manicure) and realizing that the time we have with our kids is preciously short. I still havent' figured it out, so if you do, please share. :-)

My daughter, too, occasionally pulls out the "no school" routine… and I take it as a good thing that, even though I know she's happy and fine at school, she still "prefers" me. We flip it around and just promote the heck out of the weekends as "mommy and daddy" "no school" days, trying to shift the emphasis away from the weekdays sucking to the weekends rocking.

I think you have to look at the big picture — when we had her in a bad daycare, at the macro level, she wasn't doing well. She was genuinely unhappy (in hindsight), and it carried through to her entire being every minute of every day. Now, in a good daycare, she's genuinely happy, with short bursts of manipulative unhappy sprinkled in. And since the manipulation is rooted in the most flattering of concepts (me! she prefers me!!), I forgive it.

I go back and forth between hugely anxious bouts of "is she OK? does she need/miss me?" when I have to work a lot and only get to see her about 1 hr a day (eg., this week) and remembering that our parents' generation did not spend soooo much energy worrying about whether we were "well-adjusted" and "happy." They opened the door, put their foots on our butts, and pushed, yelling "come home by 6 for dinner." Remember those days? Did you feel unloved? I didn't… but don't understand why we are so insecure that we become convinced that our kids will feel so.

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